Life Ain't Rainbows & Lollipops

Hi Mo,

It's time to go, I'm finally okay with that now (I think). I guess I just wanted to say that I never lied to you and would happily have given this a shot. Whether you believe it or not, you are a beautiful person. Perhaps letting me in would have shattered that precious, false self-image, and I'm sorry for that.

With some bumps, bruises, red eyes and all of that, I also recall friendship, laughter and a willingness to talk. That I will miss, but I treasure that it did happen for a while.

And also that on some level, we were a 4 (.something) Though it was brief, I am proud of that achievement :-)

Life ain't rainbows & lollipops, yeah...believe me I know. I always have. But...it ain't dismal despair, either. It's something in-between.

But...I do apologize with all of my heart for the distance, and the misunderstandings that has helped to fuel. I did try very hard to break down that barrier, though. Almost to the point of self-destruction. Oh well...nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I apologize that this admission is note is quite late---I know you left a long, long time ago. I'm stubborn, though, and hang on to things longer than I should.

With that, I bid you peace, love & happiness.

Thanks for letting me finally drop off this luggage.

-P

Nice Lumps

i'm sorry for saying micheal has nice lumps, i knew it was wrong, but i had to, it just slipped out

For Being Creepy

I'm sorry if you think it's creepy that I can't stop thinking about you. But I can't, you're amazing, you're brilliant, your handsome and you're mine for now. Atleast when I get the chance to win you over. And then we'll be together forever.

Wow, that actually is pretty creepy.

I'm sorry for being creepy. I guess I should just leave you alone.

For Lying to You that I Was Single

I wanted to apologise for lying to you that I was single. I am not single. Infact I've been married for 15 years and have been meeting you for 3 years without telling you. I also lied about my age. i'm oldeer than you think. I have lovely children that I dearly love. I kept trying to tell you but you kept saying that I did not have to explain anything to you. I think if you knew what it was I've been wanting to tell you, you would have given me the chance. If you're reading this, you will know who you are. I always wear a suit. I like pops and champagne with that little "umbrella thing".

I can't do this any more. You'll put me to the back of your mind someday so I'de like to say, I apologise.

The Ocean Between Us

I'm sorry that I can't make myself tell you how I feel. I want to more than anything. I'm sorry that the ocean between us is the biggest thing stopping me.

A Last Resort

I'm sorry I have this as a last resort to let it all out. But, when someone promises you that you'll feel better you go for it because you really want to feel better.

That He Doesn't Love Either of Us

I'm sorry that he doesn't love either of us, but only himself. I'm sorry that while he said he really wanted to be with you, he was with me. And I'm sorry I gave in a let him be here, even though he hurt me before.

I'm sorry that I have hurt you too.

I Am Not Steel

I am sorry for hurting anyone I have, I never did anything with a second thought that I was doing something that would cause pain. I was so into my own and I did not even realize I had so much of it myself. Pain that I held in about repeated terrible acts as a child I never knew about and never told just let it slip into a secured place that I never unlocked in my brain for decades.

I am sorry that I work so hard at helping everyone, hurting for everyone else and trying to fix everything for everyone when I have no control over anyone else's destiny but I feel other's pain so deeply and understand it without them saying many words. I just try to do anything to stop the dam from breaking and their pain drowning them, I am sorry for their pain and I am sorry that my own concern for everyone has caused me so much more in return.

I am sorry that I am so mad at feeling so tricked and don't know who to be mad at so I am just mad sometimes with no place safe to go with it because even in my own home, I am not alone and not allowed to say or do anything but what is "right" and doesn't upset anyone else. When I do I am accused of it being a result from something other than what it is and what it would be for anyone else BUT me, emotions. Pent up and maybe too much for the event but if there are 50 events that a person doesn't allow herself to say and nobody else wants her to because then it's like a massive let down, everyone panics and nobody knows what to do.

I am sorry I enabled it all and I am sorry that I carried the relentless loads of weight for everyone and coming in any direction and never even knew the sad truth of how much mine weighed, how much pressure I had and how low on the needs to be fixed pole my own stuff was, last and forgotten, almost. I am sorry I wasted so much of my life and sorry I will never get that back.

I am sorry I was born with a brain that is far from dumb and far, so far from peaceful and thankful that I mastered the art of dealing and coping with so much heavy stuff and yet nobody but me knew it and my suffering in silence because I can maintain a solid front and focus when most anything happens. But I am sorry for how much I feel and know and that I can't hold as much of it in anymore.

I am tired, I am sorry. I will always listen and try to help everyone because I can't switch off empathy or my ability to feel. I am so sorry that if it's too much and I know I don't have the energy to handle someone else's burden or the ability to "fix" it or them. I hurt me as well as the person I am trying to do it for because I am blocking their path to growth and those lessons will keep coming at them because I interfere and sometimes just handle stuff and they haven't even asked or knew I did it. It sounds so "nice" but in hindsight it feels bad.

I will always be okay I know and known that forever. I also know that with me as the net so will my loved ones.

So, I am sorry to me for kicking the crap out of myself for any mistake and when I made a big one that caused me to reek havoc on myself and still feel so much guilt because of it that I torture me for longer than I should and expect way too much. I would never expect as much from anyone else and I would never allow someone to do to themselves what I do to myself for just being human and maybe making a huge mistake but one that I learned from, made up for as much as possible, would not repeat and pray for them and forgiveness every morning and night. I have to let it go it eats me alive and I say nothing, as usual, to anyone and as time passes I always am grateful for my ability and faith that gets me through it all, alone, for the most part.

I am grateful I can take care of myself and heal, but sorry that this time with this much sadness around me for so long and causing some for the first time in my life, I am okay but sorry for being sad and guilty. I can't do anything differently to take it away or from anyone, time will be the Ms, Fix-It for us.

Now, we are hairline fractures when it used to be broken or crumbled souls. It's never going to look the same but we've molded it and us into that and that is pretty lucky and great.

I am just sorry for being the thread that unravelled and changed everyone because too much weight and the thread thinned and broke a hole that was the steel blanket that finally became an crocheted one.

I am sorry I am not steel but I don't want to be but I will keep you guys warm anyway. I am sorry I hate nights.

Just Think of This and Me

Just think of this and me

as just a few of the many things

that lie around and clutter up your shelves.

I wish you werent worth they wait cause there are alot of things id like to say to you.

Im sorry you cant realize whats right infront of you.

You Don't Deserve This At All

I'm sorry for being so judgmental and continuing to belittle you in my mind. You don't deserve this at all, besides, I don't even know you. I'm sorry.

About Ruining Our Friendship Back Then

I know it's been about 25 years since this happened, but I still regret talking about you behind your back, and I knew you found out. I saw the hurt look on your face and felt ashamed. But I didn't know what to say. So I said nothing and went on my way.

I don't even know why I did it. Maybe to impress the other guy I was talking to. Funny thing is, it didn't work. He wasn't impressed with a gossiper.

I know you have a wife and kids know. I'm married, too. I just wanted to say I'm so very sorry about ruining our friendship back then.

About the Other Woman

I'm sorry that you were not honest with me about the other woman... I'm sorry that in the end of our relationship, you couldn't even admit that you want to be with someone else... I'm sorry that even though you want to love her, you still can't be faithful... I'm sorry that I am going to tell her we have been seeing each other intimately since you two have been together... I'm sorry you can't be honest with her or me. Maybe now you will realize that honesty is the only way to love someone.

When I Should Be With You

To Jonathan....

Sorry I'm wasting so much time when I should be with you.

I'll join you in a moment.

I love you! :)

How I Left All Those Years Ago

To ...

I'm sorry for how I left all those years ago. And that I did it the same way all over again. Sorry for HOW I left, but not for leaving. I could never be what you want. You never really knew me anyway, and that's probably a good thing. Either way, we were never going to work out.

And to you,

My heart is yours forever. I'm sorry if I ever made you doubt it for a moment. My second of weakness has come and gone, and with this apology I will mourn no longer.

But Seeing You Cry

saying goodbye

this time,

last time was the Same Old Story.

but seeing you cry,

this time,

makes me feel like saying sorry.

Sorry I Let Her Cheat

I'm sorry I let her cheat. I'm sorry I helped her out. I'm sorry that my parents had to be told. I'm sorry that my stomach hurt all day because of you. I'm sorry you divided us into such unfair groups. I'm sorry we had to do all the work. I'm sorry the kid who tattled on us came back and said it was a false claim. I'm sorry everyone in the class said you were way off. I'm sorry that people later yelled at the kid. I'm sorry that you had to be disappointed. I'm sorry that you had to make such a big deal out of nothing. And I'm sorry telling my parents didn't make it feel any better. I'm sorry I helped. Ok, I'm sorry I let someone cheat. Sorry I covered for them. Wait: I'm not. Sorry.

Sorry the Gap is Just Growing Bigger

I'm Sorry That i've been cheating on you. And that this leaves me with no trust for you. I'm sorry that i'm sure i see you cheting everyday because of my own foolish behaviour. For what its worth, he wasn't worth it. I love you. You fill that gap in my life that i never knew existed until i met you.

I'm sorry the gap is just growing bigger everyday because i know in the back of my mind that i was unfaithful and you have no idea.

That I Don't Like Your Son

I'm very sorry that I don't like your son. It absolutely breaks my heart that I can't muster whatever it would take to find love in my heart for him. I hope we can figure out how to have a functional step-family despite this horrible secret of mine.

To Marty

Marty

I'm sorry!!!

The words I said that night, many years ago, still haunt me.

I know what I lost that night I can never get back.

I hope you have it in your heart to forgive me.

L

I'm Sorry That Sometimes It's Almost Heartbreaking...

I'm sorry that there has always been a small part of both of us that has held on to whomever else we had at the moment instead of doing what we really desired about each other.

You're right, we are always at different places & always with someone else...& yet we always love each other & want to be together. I'm sorry for both of us that something has always held us back...& I'm sorry that it's now came to the point that which we're both at in life right now, especially.

I've always wondered & even contemplated for years what exactly has kept us from doing what we've always known we should. I'm sorry that we opportunities have been there, despite that they may not have been great ones. We could have taken them & we haven't. I know you've questioned the reasoning too...It's not all the orbiting of the planets & the spinning of the cosmos, it has been our decisions as well.

I'm sorry that sometimes I think that it has always been that it's because it's so right - so genuinely, inconceivably perfect, that we've both given ourselves some reason to not be together or to not take that step. Whether it has been a person in our lives that was or even was not disposable, whether it was where we were financially or with our jobs, or mentally, emotionally-LMAO! I'd even go as far, simply because we are so honest, that we'd find a personality flaw (for lack of a better term), a characteristic, something we know about one another, an extension of our lives that produces certain obvious difficulties, or what the fuck ever & use that as our excuse because it's just too damn scary to imagine that a relationship could really be the way that it is between us.

I'm sorry but I think that we are the kind of people that seek the realistic version of things. Not pessimistic but realistic & sometimes optimism is there, but we're just to technical & seek the outcome of things too much to see anything other than the truth. I don't think we could imagine any relationship being like we are together so we just don't want to lose what we have or had at the time... & The truth is that we don't believe in perfection. We've never found it in anything, especially the things we do & most certainly the decisions we make!

I'm sorry we always give to everyone else. I'm sorry we where giving to the people that we loved & felt obligated to at the time, as we do now. We are, essentially, selfless.

I'm sorry that we try to hide it & that we run from it...& I'm really sorry that I literally run from it. I'm sorry that everyone sees it, that it's so damn obvious to the world.

We will have days like we used to again, but when we do, we will have them everyday from then on. Boxers or not - Hell, who needs clothes??? I'm just sorry we have to give what little bit we can when we can...& I'm sorry that I can't give more. Thank you for understanding because you just don't realize what will happen to me & us... I will not be able to be the same anymore.

You're right, we will eventually run away, have enough, give up, whatever. Waking up & seeing you there was so - well, there isn't a word. I'm sorry that having you around is so wonderful. It's not going to be a good thing here in about three months when your life has changed. You will understand. I'm sorry that it's not easier, but I'm happy it's fun! I'm happy that we can still make each other happy!

I'm not sorry that I love you.

Sex With Your Boyfriend

I am sorry that I had sex with your boyfriend, and that he will never be man enough to be honest with you about it. I'm sorry that you don't understand that his cheating will never stop. He won't change for you... just lik he didn't change for me.

I'm Sorry for Nothing

I am sorry for NOTHING I have done, said or felt. When I say "sorry", I don't really ever mean it...I am only trying to please you but I know its wrong. I am not sorry and I never will be. I am proud of my feelings, my thoughts, my words, and my actions....and again, I always will be.

Sorry It's Come to This

I'm sorry it's come to this. What's brewing inside of you, I still don't know the specifics, on what I did to you to become the object of your wrath. When I deliver speeches at club meetings, you get up and walk out or get refreshments, you ignore me at officers' meetings, you send me hateful emails, you called me a name during a meeting break. Huh? What's really going on? Are you mad that I have a wonderful, loving boyfriend? Are you jealous? Are you projecting past rejections onto me? Whatever it is, I'm tired of it. Your negative energy is draining. I thought that the new year would bring a new attitude and some professionalism. Boy, was I wrong. When you read your resignation letter, you used the opportunity to deny all personal responsibility and trash me. Real classy. The more you hate, the uglier you become. I hope you're able to let go. Instead of always trying to tear others down, I hope you find your way to peace and happiness soon.

I Barely Knew You

That was beautiful, and very well put. I am sorry you went through all of that. It is so much like what I have gone through myself, I feel your pain and know that so many of us forget to say thank you to those who were there for us. God Bless You!

Revenge and Forgiveness

I'm sorry I turned to revenge as a way of healing for what you did to me.

I forgive you for cheating on me.

For Not Believing You Are My Soulmate

I'm sorry i wasn't matture enough to be your wife. It seems 'm a children regarding feelings.. i'm alone now, and thinking clearly... you really were my best friend, you treated me like a real princess, thank you. I lied to you, i'm sorry... I think I did it on proposite to see if you'll live me... and you did! I miss you, I miss you so much... But I don't feel that what we had was real love, soul mate love, and that's what i want to live... thank you for all the good thinks you did to me the last two years, thank you for your attention, for everything... I'm sorry that I lied, I'm sorry that I didn't apreciet you... I'm sorry for not beliving that what we had was true love... I'm sorry for not married you... I'm sorry for not believing you are my soul mate!

For the Flavors of the Month

I am so sorry that our world has become full of such miserable, non- compassionate people who enjoy hurting each other. Enjoying each other's pain, sadness, failures, human mistakes and then kicking one while they are down even if we are responsible for putting them there.

I am so sorry for the 'flavors of the month" Britney etc..girls that barely had a childhood herself then looking for love and a safe place and couldn't create that with her pick for a spouse and then a kid having 2....while every move she made/makes is on every paper and TV show being picked apart by ADULTS . It is scary when there is a 24 hr. "Britney" watch? ANYONE judging how she SHOULD act, or just judging shoes that are rarely walked in by many people ever yet we all sit back and talk crap about a unfortunate downfall of someone who is in pain, nowhere safe to go and heartbroken over her marriage not working and I am sure be acutely aware of all she gave up and what she has to do to travel back to where she fought for years to get to and let's remember, she was a kind, personable girl for years. Can we cut some slack? How sad that this is the state we are in as people .

For All the People Who Took My Advice

I'm sorry for all the people who took my advice... ever. Largely for the dating advice column I write. I'm probably the least qualified person in the world to write be giving advice, especially on dating and relationships.

I'm sorry to Stacy, for not accepting the hints she was giving me, and straining her good nature and not accepting no as an answer. I'm also sorry that I gave her advice with the intention of getting her to dump her boyfriend for me on a few wild assumptions.

For Now and Then I Am Sorry

I am sorry we are always in different places in our life. I am sorry that we never gave ourselves the one thing that has always, and will always make us happy, each other.

One day we will have enough, or we will no longer care about what happens and we will just run away, boxers or not.

One day I hope to have days like we use to. until then I am sorry.

We Feel Like Angels and Breathe Like Desperate Hunger

We feel like angels and breathe like desperate hunger. Love, life, plans and hope. I didn't know when you loved me there would be no plans. It is nobody's fault. Sometimes you seem sad to know of the way I look. The way I feel. The way I am. Sometimes you seem so angry.

We didn't know we would have less that 5 years together. From new and exciting to scared and bitter and feeling robbed. They can't fix the bruises. They can't fix the pain. And you look at me like I am the most beautiful thing in the world. And I am sorry.

Time is coming to an end and it spread so fast. And even in a fear to love me so deeply, you hold onto me just as strong. I would never choose to leave you. I would never choose to hurt you. We didn't know how bad it was. That it couldn't be fixed.

I love you. And am so so sorry.

I Can't Console You Anymore

Sorry I can't wait around and console you anymore. Hope things work out great for you, but it's time for me to leave you in the past.

For Hurting You While I Was Crazy

I apologize for hurting you while I was crazy. And I also apologize for acting like being bipolar is an excuse and I didn't need to say anything about what happened. My illness is no excuse for avoiding the situation. I am being responsible now and taking my medication. I can't promise that I will always behave myself - please understand that my illness is real - but I will promise that if I ever flip out again I will own up to it, and I won't take so long to say I'm sorry.

Ready to Live Again

I am sorry, I just can't do it any longer. You have lied and cheated me, even left me at home while you were learning the art of turning tricks. Now you are sick, I am sorry you are sick. If you just would have been a good wife and been honest and true this never would have happened.

Sorry you found ONE, Sorry you hurt our children by smoking meth and getting us evicted several times when I gave you the money for rent. Sorry I trusted you time and time again. Sorry I slept next to you last night and that I have no where else to go until I get paid.

I am sorry I had children with you, I wish I could take them away from you and never have to worry about them again. You know I love my children and I dont want to leave them out to the wolves. You have never grown up, never had the ability to have an adult conversation. The nasty things I have done are only me lashing out on your constant lies and attempts to hurt me.

I know you have had more than 30 sexual partners in the past six months. Me, I have had only one in the last six or seven years. Since I was so addicted to you I could not imagine of being without you.

Now I feel I am ready, ready to live again. Ready to have a positive life instead of always having to worry about taking care of you. Even with the love that does still exist for you I will have to leave. You know I am going, you know I can no longer trust you. I have always been so caring and always waiting up at night for you to come home but since the last time I can never do it again. I really hope that you are not as sick as you may be only the doctor will be able to tell you. If you are pregnant heads will roll! When you have the abortion (Which you will cause you are not sure if Alan is the Dad or if your soon to be divorced husband. I am sorry you are so confused and you have destroyed our lives and endangered our children, and those children you had when I met you. I need to start thinking about myself now and stop trying to keep you in line, I can not be your rock any longer. I still think about your ads on craigslist "Non-Pro", Up Late tonight" I am sorry I found them and pretended to be a john looking for you, sorry I made you throw up when you found out you had set up a date with your husband when you thought you were gonna get paid.

You have lied to me and about me when all I ever tried to do was care for you and make a better life for you and our kids. I dont know if I will ba able to tell you that you are always going to be just another piece of trash.

So Angry That You Left

i'm sorry i was so angry that you left. and i'm sorry we had to sell your stuff to pay back your debt. sorry about your family not talking to you for 14 years and your everlasting battle with drugs. and i'm sorry that i could not prevent you from freezing to death all alone.

i'm sorry that there was nothing i could do.

As Far As My Eyes Can See

I’m sorry for the last four years I’ve let you abuse me-

making me feel like I wasn’t worth anything more,

I am sorry that I let you yell and scream, throw things at me-

shoving me onto our living room floor!

I am sorry it took me four long years to realize-

That you never loved me and never cared,

But to me, the mere thought of leaving you-

Had always made me so lonely and scared.

I am sorry you that were always-

too self-doubting and insecure to see,

How much of myself I put into us-

you were-at that moment in time-everything to me.

Most of all I am sorry that you never realized-

what a beautiful person I am,

Your selfishness and abusiveness blinded you-

making you into a miserable man.

What I am definitely not sorry for is that fact-

you eventually left me!

You have given me opportunity for a happier life-

as far as my eyes can see.

Looking Online for Sex

i am so sorry that I don't tell you that I keep looking online for sex when I tell that those times are long gone. i am also sorry that i got you pregnant and that you are having an abortion as I write this. I am hoping that everything will go ahead OK. god i am so scared for you. why do i continue to try to fuck up the best thing that has ever happened to me?

I Barely Knew You

I barely knew you when he pulled the car over on the freeway and left you there. I was too scared to say something. I'm sorry.

And you weren't really a close friend, but when you showed up all beat up and defending him, I was thinking you were a stupid bitch and wondered what you did to deserve it. I'm sorry.

And you were one of my best friends but when he punched you in the face three times - and I was there watching - I didn't let you defend yourself. I asked you not to call the cops. I asked you not to come around to my house anymore. I'm sorry.

And you were my sister and when he hit you, I figured you hit him first. I figured your attitude is finally paying off. I figured some people deserved to be beat. I'm sorry.

And you were my mother and I thought I knew why he couldn't control himself and kept letting his anger get out of control. I thought you were asking for it. I'm sorry.

And I was beat and raped and tortured. Over and over again. I thought I deserved it. I thought I could fix it and make him stop. I tried to be perfect and nothing helped. When I finally asked for help, you told me that no one deserved it. You gave me everything you had. Thank you.

For My Flaws

The winds of time howl past our lives

I hold you tight as the cold winter bites

Yet the protection I offer is never enough

For too long it's been hard for you

For too long it's been a challenge


The future is planned, our shelter decided

I want you there, I need you there

Yet our union is hidden to the world

For too long I've asked too much

For too long you've given all you can


I'm sorry for my flaws. Yet I will always love you and always protect you.

From a Sexually Frustrated Virgin

Dear 'Mr. Josaro',

This is complicated and I seriously want to cry! I'm sorry I didn't kiss you. I'm sorry I told you that I had a mystery to solve with a certain someone before I met you. I want you and I want him.

I'm sorry that we're both spineless fools! I've admitted that I loved you, but in your shyness...you haven't made a move or said those 3 simple words...hell, you don't want to discuss or act on your feelings.

Perhaps if I'm brave enough one day, I'll slam you up against a wall and kiss your adorable self...and if I can't reach your lips (seeing as how I'm 5'4 and you're 6'), the most easily grab-able spot is below the waist. ;)

I'm a sexually frustrated virgin, 'Jo'...you have been warned.

A Lost Profoundness

i'm sorry this site has turned into a blog for pathetic high school problems and lost any kind of profoundness it might once have had.

I'm Sorry I Didn't Ditch You, Sooner

I'm sorry I didn't ditch you, sooner. Watching your shit up close was bad enough, but I worried maybe I wasn't able to see past it to give you a chance because I was too close to you. Now that I see you from a distance, I can tell I grossly underestimated your selfishness. You use people and "love" them only as long as they serve a purpose for you. Then you turn on them and treat them as if you hate them. Until you NEED them again. Then suddenly you love them. I no longer feel bad about dumping you, because you're obviously not worth feeling bad over. Hell I wonder now if you are even human, to be able to do and say such ugly things to the people who love you the most. You're a spoiled rotten bitch and I'M GLAD YOU'RE GONE. Please stay that way.

What AM I sorry for, really? I'm sorry for myself, that I was stupid enough to fall for your lies. I'm sorry for all the people you've used and abused and thrown away when you were bored with them or didn't need them, sorry they were stupid enough to love you and LET you use them. I'm sorry for you, too. You're stupid enough to despise and use those who love you, so one day when you really need them, they won't be there. I know I won't be. Hope you like being alone because you will be someday, and no one will care, then.

I Love My Peaceful Clean House

I'm sorry that I don't want you at my house all of the time. I love your father and should love you too. I'm sorry that I love my peaceful clean house and that you seem to wreak all of that when you come to visit. I'm sorry that I get angry when you make a mess but think that it is okay when my dogs make messes. I'm sorry that you ended up with a wicked step-mother - better luck next time.

When You Finally Accept That You're Gay

I'm sorry that I love you so much that years from now, after we're married, I'm sure you'll either cheat on me with a man, or kill yourself when you finally accept that you're gay.

I'm Sorry I Wasn't Stronger

I'm sorry I'm not what you want. You say I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you, but I can't give you everything you want. I can make sacrifices... but if being happy is something you want me to be, then I can't do it.

I'm sorry to everyone I tried to trust. I'm sorry I gave all you fools my loyalty and undivided attention, only to see you leave me after you were done using me after taking everything I could give you.

I'm sorry I wasn't stronger.

I'm sorry I couldn't be there when the accident happened. You might still be alive now, if only I had been there.

I'm sorry I can't be there for you now. My best friend, thousands of miles away... I'll see you someday. But I'm sorry I can't be there for you now, when you need it the most. (I'm sorry plane tickets are so damn expensive, and getting through customs is so hard. =P)

I'm sorry things aren't the way they are before between you and I. Maybe if you had not betrayed me in my darkest hour, then I would still be your best friend. For now, you're lucky I still talk to you, but don't play the victim.

Ta.

A Cell Phone Flaw

i'm sorry that cell phones cannot tell you "no" when you try to send particular messages to people. they should really work on that.

I Like Your Brother

i am sorry i like your brother.

i am sorry he likes me too.

The Eighth Grade

I'm sorry that you are TOO IMMATURE to forgive me.

IT WAS THE FREAKING EIGHTH GRADE.

GET OVER IT.

I know I am, and I know he is.

To Michelle, Part 2

I'm sorry, so sorry you left me again, I have this gut feeling you won't come back this time.

We were so happy when we conceived the twins, knowing that we were going to force our will on everything and everyone who stood in the way of us being together, it was a remarkable act of courage on your part to go ahead with our plan.

I am so sorry you slipped on the ice and fell, and ended up losing the babies. It was devastating for me, you know how badly I wanted children with you, and I know how much harder it was for you. I am so sorry.

I wish you'd call me. I want to get on an airplane every day, every night, to visit you, try and fight for the only thing that matters to me in this crappy life...you.

I'm sorry, so sorry that although we both know that we're perfect for each other...what happened between us, what we shared is what people search their lifetimes to try and find and most never do...that things got so fucked up between us.

How quick the sun can, drop away...

And now my bitter hands

Cradle broken glass

Of what was everything

To My Sisters

this is my apology to my sisters, for not having found the "right words" to tell you both why I don't respond to your calls and emails - I don't like or trust either of you. You've taught me well in this, showing little compassion or respect for me in the past. It's been bizarre to me how you both still act like you did in childhood, as if it isn't 30+ years later - and then I realized that you are treating me the way you saw our mother treating me, and so it is "normal" to you both to do what you do. The few times I've given you back some of what you've shown me, you haven't liked it at all - yet there's been no awareness in you to stop. I'm sorry that I've learned I'm better off without either of you in my life.

I'm sorry you the two of you don't want me in your life enough to treat me with basic decency, courtesy, and compassion - I'm a good person, blessed with many friends who do want me in their lives. There are several I call "sisters in spirit" because we have the kind of positive bond some sisters have. I'm sorry you don't want this too.

The past year, due to reasons you don't know about, I've had to learn to take care of myself, or face getting really sick. I've chosen to take care of me. So when there's a choice between taking care of me, or taking care of you by calling you back - I'm going to take care of me, and not call. And this will continue until, with the help of my therapist, I figure out how to interact with you both without paying a huge cost.

I'm sorry our father is aware of the distance between us. I'm sorry you've pushed some issues on him so that I had to explain to him about why I don't trust either of you. I was sorry to find out he knew/understood what I was talking about, and had some similar - though not as strong - feelings.

- NM, Jan 2008

That I Egged Your Car

I'm sorry that I egged your car...okay thats a lie... I'm sorry your ugly ass thinks it wasn't me when I was the one who first threw the egg at your ugly car. Actually I was the one who not only bought the eggs but it was my idea to egg it in the first place! I'm sorry you feel that you are better than all your friends cause they know your not and they talk about you behind your back and really if you think about it now had you not gotten on my bad side I would have stood up for you.

And I am sorry to you the idiot who not only did we egg your car but we put bologna on your car (and in your car too since your sun roof was open) and also put cat food on the door handles (and just so you know the ash stuff that was spread across it was a magazine that you left at my house (I just wanted to give it back to you...sorry it wasn't in a complete state).

Oh and Im sorry to you the girl in school that i picked on. Well I'm sorry that you had to go through so much pain cause of my friends and I...I'm not saying I wouldn't do it again cause it was funny as hell but I am sorry. I'm sorry about the white out in your hair, the spit balls, the slamming our desks into yours while you slept in class getting you into trouble kind of shit my friends and I put you through. But hey look at it this way you were always there to put a smile on our faces.

How to Spell

I'm sorry that most of you don't know how to spell.:P

On The Beach That Night & Forever...

I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that I didn't give a fuck that you wanted to go back home to her on the beach that night!

I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that I knew that it would always be this way. I'm sorry that I didn't say that, although the things you said were true, that they would never make a damn bit of difference, we would always feel the way we do & you knew it too.

I should have told you the truth. I should have told you how I really felt instead of doing what was RIGHT for us...instead of doing what I was supposed to do, to bring the happy, moral, we didn't screw it up intentionally, ending.

I was trying to change my life, my habits, my way of screwing everything up. I wanted the outcome of my decisions at that point, to be because I had done what was 'correct', if you will, instead of simply doing what I 'wanted' to...b/c we both know what doing what I had 'wanted' to had turned into just before that.

We were in the same places in life, but we should have just grabbed your big boy boxers & said, "Fuck it!"

It was a beautiful, relaxing, fun, peaceful, wonderful, exciting, yummy, perfect night... It has never ended there & I know it never will, despite where we are.

I'm so sorry.

I will always love you.

This Mess of a Situation

I'm sorry we ever got into this mess of a sitauation...sorry that we secretly love eachother. I'm afraid we'll never admit it to eachother. Me because I don't want to surrender myself to the pain your cowardness will cause me and you because you are afriad to feel true love.

I'm sorry you got yourself into a relationship knowing what we feel for eachother. Even in your relationship you feel the need to let me know I'm always in your heart.

I'm sorry that it hurts me.

I'm sorry that I'm even sorry about any of this!!

I LOVE YOU.

Whatever Made You Hate Me

Im sorry I wasn't what you wanted.

Im sorry I am nothing but myself and that you lied to me and I hurt for what you've done.

I'm sorry for whatever it was that made you hate me...

For the Times I Left You Home

I'm sorry for the times I left you home

I was on the road and you were alone

I'm sorry for the times that I had to go

I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know

That you were sitting home just wishing we

Could go back to when it was just you and me

I'm sorry for the times I would neglect

I'm sorry for the times I disrespect

I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done

I'm sorry I'm not always there for my son

I'm sorry for the fact that I am not aware

That you can't sleep at night when I am not there

Because I am in the streets like everyday

Sorry for the things that I did not say

Like how you are the best thing in my world

And how I am so proud to call you my girl

For Wasting Three Years of my Life

Why is it we always feel the need to say "Im sorry" for things that we really shouldnt be sorry for???

You know what.. I am NOT sorry for all the drama YOU caused in my life....wanna know why???

Because I would have spent the rest of my life loving you and apologizing for things I had no control over....IE:

1. Im sorry that you busted the tire on your truck....If i wasnt trying to talk to you..maybe you would have paid more attention and seen the big thingie in the driveway.

2. Im sorry you dont have a decent place to live anymore....If I was more understanding of you....I would not have thrown you out...

3. Im sorry you are broke......and I should have warned you that you were spending more than you were making....but ya know what I am broke too...

4. Im sorry that people dont like you anymore....but if i would have been more insistant of your crappy attitude...maybe you would have listend to my plees....to lighten up

Hmmm.....yea...I am sorry.

Sorry for wasting three years of my life trying to make you a better person......

I am sorry..that you are not dead.

For Who I Am

to all the people in my life who care

who think i am up to the task

who believe in me wholeheartedly

when i refuse to believe in myself

i am so very sorry

for who i am

and what i can

but everyday fight back the urge to do

i am so very sorry

i have let each one of you down

to my parents

my family

my friends

my teachers

my peers

i am only one human

i am nothing compared to you

the ones who push me to the limit

but pull me back before the fall

the ones who have nothing

but love and compassion for me

in my darkest and gloomiest hour

the ones who refuse to give up

and know i have it in me

to tread through

and accomplish the mind blowing goals

i have set forth before me

i know i have hurt each and every one of you

and with all of my heart and soul

i appologize

and i swear

that nothing can stop me

from doing what should have

and could have been done long ago

i promise to push myself to the limit

work hard to get there

and harder to stay there

you are my motivation

the light at the end of my tunnel

you have pushed and prodded me

the entire way and now you can do nothing more

but hope i see

what you all have wanted me to see from the start

that kick in the butt to get me started

all i needed was a push and a hand up every now and then

but what you have given me is worth so so much more

that i can only hope

to give someone else

the same inspiration

and motivation

do continue trudging through

the easy and hard

and finally see

that all it takes

is me

-Garrett D.

Crown and Coke

i'm sorry i took your love for granted. i wish you all the success and happiness. i'm sorry if i ever made you feel unworthy. you'll never phathom how much i love and care for you. to comprehend my heart right now is difficult because i myself have problems. i wish i could take those words back of space. all i ever want is to be close to you. i'm sorry the only way i had courage to tell you all this was if i was drunk. i'm scared to let you go and hold you close. i'm scared she's taken you away from me. i'm scared your heart does not belong to me anymore. i'm scared i love you too much to the point where i don't even understand or recognize. i'm sorry i continue to cry and be sad. i just really want to let you go...but my heart hold no logic and holds on with the hope that lies in pandora's box.

Back in Contact

im truely sorry it took me so long to get back in contact with you and left you with the duties of my crazy horse ...im really REALLY sorry its been very hard for me since the loss of A***N...and i was not thinking of how if affected you as well i truely am sorry and i love you and everything you do that makes you who you are.

Your Life History

I am sorry that I feel like I don't really know too much about your life history. It is a sad thing for sure. I am sorry that even though I consciously try for it to not have any hold on me, I seem to carry all this pain and distrust around with me. I am sorry I can't trust you enough to stop looking at your page. I am sorry I prepare myself for you to be like that rat bastard when really you're nothing like him. At all. I am sorry I let him get to me like that, when I am sooo done with anything to do with him. You are so wonderful in so many ways and instead of enjoying that and looking forward to all those marvelous possibilities, I am skeptical and jaded and expect the worst, which I'm sure brings it into fruition. I am sorry I get pissed off at you for not inviting me along but say nothing about it. I am sorry I have doubts about how you feel about me. I am sorry I am afraid you're using me and just keeping me around. I know this isn't the case.I am sorry I am not as feisty and headstrong as I should be. I am so sorry that I am feeling a bit wobbly about how wonderful you think I am. I am sorry I am achingly sad that you're leaving for 6 months. I am sorry I miss you already. I am sorry that you will probably see me cry. I am sorry we don't have the kind of relationship where I feel I can tell you anything and we'll tackle it together, even though I know that's how you would be. I am not sorry for these past five months I've known you. You have been such a sweet blessing. You have brought so many smiles to my life. I am sorry that I don't expect that. Maybe if I did I would be feisty and magical like when we first found each other. I am sometimes sorry I am so sweet and giving. I am sometimes sorry I don't make you work harder for me. I am sorry you keep me at a distance. We are both such sweet and generous people that it is a shame we're not sharing ourselves with each other to the fullest of our beings. We would be so wonderful together and for each other. We are so complimentary. I am sorry that I have come to adore you and shower you with sweetness. I am sorry that I have all these doubts. I am sorry that I feel like you're slipping away from me. I am sorry I leave things wishy washy instead of getting answers from you. I am sorry that I want to spend every moment I can with you. I am sorry it feels like you don't feel that way. I am sorry that I'm afraid you will not come back to me. I am sorry that I doubt how worthy I am of sweetness and love. I am sorry that I'm not verbalizing any of these things on my mind. I am sorry that I think I have fallen for you. I know that's not supposed to be in the plan. I am so sorry that we are not officially together. I am sorry that I didn't tell you what I really felt when we talked about it. I knew it wouldn't have been ok for you to know. I am sorry that I adore you and, because I can't seem to keep it in anymore and because you're leaving, it is starting to show. I am sorry that despite our best efforts, I am attached. I am sorry that I can't say I love you cuz we both think it's not ok to get into that. I can say it here though and no one will know. I am sorry that I can't share with you that I love you. I love you.

Being a Married Man

I am sorry being a married man I should not think about having extra-marital affair..but I could not help myself.. I fell in LOVE with one of my female friend at work..although she is already going around with some one else..now we both are not in talking terms with each other any more.. I am not able to forget that.. I believe she was interested in me as well..but she was close to another person in the same work area..I fantasize about making love with her till now..I want to get over this now.