That I Flipped Out

I'm sorry that I flipped out on you last night. I said some really mean things and I admit that I was just trying to manipulate you to try to make myself feel better. The truth is that I need to take responsibility for my own happiness and quit blaming you for my misery. You have done nothing but be a great guy and love me and care for me for the past three years--faithfully and compassionately. Sometimes I'm just so scared, impatient, selfish, and confused. I want things to be different that cannot be different and I think that life is not fair, I blame it on you but its not your fault. It's nobody's fault. We've both have made mistakes in our past that we have to deal with now, we can rewind time no matter how much I want to. Even though I get so angry and frustrated sometimes I hope you know that I do love you, I do want to marry you, I know deep inside we can get through this. Things aren't really that bad, but my mind gets stuck sometimes, I get obsessive about those old thought patterns. I'm so sorry I put you through all those nights of endless irrationality and fights. I'm so sorry that you have to feel bad because you don't understand how to fix you. It's not your fault. It's my fault. And I promise I'll try harder now. This has got to stop.