I Fell in Love with You Again

I am really sorry because I fell in love with you again even though I have always loved you. 34 years ago I loved you and I have never stopped loving you. I will never stop loving you! You are a good, kind, honorable, loving man, and you deserve everything good in life. I am sorry that I didn't wait to see you until I'd lost all my weight and gotten everything much more together. You know that mixed in with all my own schtick I worried about doing what is right. You may never know how much better I have put myself together since then. Yet as much as I obsess over my appearance, loving you is not about your appearance in any way. There is something very special about you, and there always has been. As attractive as I find you, I have never thought about you in that way. It is your spirit that I love so very much. I suppose I am just confused, because I was hoping against hope that maybe, this time, you would love me for me. So wrapped up with the improvement of my appearance is the contemplation of a line from an old song: that if I could love you good enough on the outside, maybe I could make you stay. I know that if you could stay, it would only be staying a little at a time, and then maybe years from now you would want to have someone around who adores the ground you walk on. Because I am so stubborn, I will make my blasted appearance everything I can make it. Because, after all, it's only weight I gained after almost losing my foot! and I am not so beyond hope as all that. What other people say in compliments and in affection doesn't matter. What you think is all that matters. But please forgive me. If it were in my power, I would turn back the clocks and go back to the moment I could have and should have told you how much you mean to me in the first place. There is nothing in the world I wouldn't do for you. So by the time I have managed to make myself a worldly success again, and have a good presentation for the rest of humanity, I fear you will be gone. I want you to know I am truly sorry for any way in which I have offended you. I love you with all my heart.