For My Past and How I Handle It

I'm sorry for my past and how I handle it. I'm sorry that I worry incessantly that you will do the horrible things they did, yet you are anything but an abusive, selfish person.

I'm sorry I don't have the true confidence to just love you without pausing, from time to time, to ask you how you feel and if you are genuinely comfortable. I'm sorry if I worry about ruining us in some fantastic, flippant gesture without knowing any better. I'm sorry that I express my gratitudes in countless "thank yous" and "I appreciates" because I am terrified that, one day, I will take you for granted when it was a blessing I did not deserve.

I'm sorry that I still don't think I'm good enough for you, even when I know we are actually meant to be. I'm sorry that there are still moments when I don't believe I deserve you or the happiness you bring to my world. I'm sorry that I still have baggage at my ankles, dragging through my days and making my choices that much harder to believe in.

I love you with everything I have. I hope this will be enough to give you all of the wonderful things you deserve.