Richard Dean Anderson Would Be Proud

Hey J., I'm sorry I got bent out of shape over that MacGyver trivia thing last night. Regardless of who was right, it was so juvenile. I'm confident you'll forgive me...

The Gambler

I'm sorry for going to Atlantic City instead of your graduation ceremony.

For Grandma

Grandma, sorry I never call. You are ninety-four years old, and dad says you're depressed all the time as death approaches. I know it would make you feel better if I called every once in a while, but I'm scared of you. You're too judgemental and cruel. Even though you have given me so much monetarily and taught me about the world, I have to end your legacy of destroying people's lives by emotionally crippling them. I will take your money though. I will check back for your apology to my father.

Forgotten Birthday

Hey little nephew, I'm really sorry for forgetting your birthday this year (the big 8!). As you'll grow to know, I'm horrible with dates, and I really feel badly about it. Hopefully you had a great day and got lots of toys and were so happy that you didn't even think about your forgetful uncle.

I promise i won't forget next year!

Your Friends and Neighbors

Dear friends and family,
I'm so so sorry for being a flaky and terrible friend, sister, and daughter lately. I know I've completely neglected our relationships -- have not called, emailed, or texted you. I know it's no excuse to say I've been bogged down at work, but it's true! I promise to get in touch with each and every one of you this week.

This Cat's Life

Dear Pringles (my cat),
Sorry I don't have enough time sometimes to let you into the hallway. I know you love to walk around and sniff the stairs and the neighbor's door.

Apology to Iraq

I'd like to apologize to the Iraqi people for the actions of our president. I'm sorry that it's the third anniversary of us storming your country. I'm sorry that more than 35,000 of your civilian brothers and sisters have been killed. Please forgive us.

The Maiden Apologies

I'm not sorry about anything.

Response from Joe Apology: I'm sorry you feel that way!

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Dear Mother Nature,
I am sorry I haven't visited you lately. I miss you.

d.

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I apologize for not letting go. You don't deserve to have anything but all of my love, but life is just not that simple. I still smell her skin, hear her voice, feel her warmth. I will try harder but I am beginning to understand that the heart does not always listen to what is the right thing to do.

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Dear Asshole Boss -

I am sorry you are short and don't know how to deal with it in a more constructive, less obvious Napoleanic way. I am sorry your Dad continually berated you and you never learned to not do that to others. I am sorry that you have such a distrust for your employees who are working so hard to further YOUR dreams. I am sorry you don't share your financial rewards with those who helped you achieve them. I am sorry that you are blatantly in love with your stupid assisatant who will never sleep with you because you don't have enough money. I am sorry you don't realize the potential and value of the people around you including your beautiful wife, darling son, amazing sister, innovative and dedicated employees, reliable and hard working associates, and the list can go on and on. But most of all - I am sorry I ever came to work for you.

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girl at the bar, i'm sorry for leading you on and talking to you all night without telling you i have a significant other. that's why i got you number and didn't give you mine. that's also why i haven't called you.
-p.

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Hey Joe,
Sorry for all the stuff I steal from work. The paper clips, staples, occasional ream of paper, food from the fridge, you know, the little stuff. And I also like those post-it notes, they come in handy. And the sharpie pens.
Bless.

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Baby,
I ate all the chocolate.
I'll make it up to you ;).
Love, Bad Boy.

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I just want to tell somebody how sorry I am for pissing on my best friend's couch the other night when I was drunk. He still thinks it was the dog...I think it's kind of funny, but I'm also sorry.

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Dear Grandma,
I'm sorry I don't ever come out to see you. I know I call occassionally, and we share the Christmas cards every year, but I should really come visit you. I feel really guilty about it, especially because you've came to see me a few times. And I know it's not easy for you. I really want to try to come out this spring or summer. I'll try my best.

Love,
M

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I'm sorry that I stole $5 from my dad's wallet.

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I've always felt sorry for stoning this wild badger/beaver thing to death. I was camping with my 2 best friends, and we came across this thing. At first it was just playful--throwing a few rocks and sticks at it. But then we started getting carried away with it. It was getting really hurt, but we kept hitting it. It finally died. My one friend was really pissed off at me and the other guy. I did feel kinda guilty then, but not that much. As time passed, I've thought about it and feel really badly about it.

I hope that little guy can forgive me.

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To my co-worker,

I'm sorry that I talk behind your back. It's just that you really annoy me sometimes. You talk so much and your voice just starts to eat away at my brain. It's like you're trying to impress everybody, and the more people that are around, the more you yap. That's why I talk shit about you.

But when it's just us talking, you're pretty relaxed (for the most part). The truth is, I enjoy talking to you when it's like that. That's why I feel bad when I talk about you behind your back.

-X

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Ex-boyfriend,

I apologize for cheating on you when we were dating. I guess that's why we're ex'es now, eh?